Friday, May 05, 2006

The Broken Promise

This has been one of the few verse poems that I have created...Composed just after reading 'Great Expectations' when I was greatly moved by the character of Miss Havisham...You might find her traces here...

The air was filled with a melodious tune
And the dark walls showed flickering of many flames
I entered the parlour, quietly, my heart beating fast!
And there he sat, with his violin, waiting for me
I looked into his eyes, which spoke of love eternal
As I felt a shiver through my spines
We had just exchanged vows till death do us part
And I looked forward to our first night together
The fire crackled noisily as I pushed in more woods
Hiding my flushed face from him
He held my hands to his lips
Whispering sweet nothings into me
Promises of forever love----which I yearned for so long
Praises for my blue eyes and black hair,
Soft voice and red lips----and then my heart ached.

A sudden gush of cold wind intruded into my thoughts
I shivered as I turned -- no one’s there
I stood alone in the dark room in eerie silence
I strained my tired ears--- no tune was heard
I looked beyond the Cimmerian darkness
The mirror in front revealed an old maid
Grey hair, lined face, trembling lips and a desperate look
I shut my eyes in terror---memories
Of the man shook me from inside
The man who promised but never kept it!


whatsinaname said...

corrections please.1. pushed in more woods
2. sweet nothings into my ear.not, into me.
Well, you seem to be in love with verse poems, are you???????????
Good, they give more space for expression. Rhyming is sometimes too constricting.
Overall the poem is well written but, the essence is unclear. Did you want to portray the excitement and anticipation of a girl on the threshold of being made a woman within the span of one night? or were you intent on describing consummate love? Appreciably you have done both with a decent degree of suggestion.

Hope the next one gets far far away from love and "the night"-types and we get something different.Adieu.......

Misha said...

@whatsinaname (shuvo)...everyone knows u can whisper into one's that's not an error that I committed...the idea was that whatever the groom was saying got wholly absorbed by the bride...

no, I am not in love wid verse poems, I have created very few of them...I like rhyming ones

What I wanted to portray was neither of the two which u have suggested...I shud not suggest anything, lest it wud deprive others from making their own conclusions...a poem is all about how u look at it...u hv decided something, let others do the same...

blade said...

I like your way of expression...

aninda said...

ur expressions are quite touching and at times very dipressing .. i dont understand words much but these ones touched me i guess :) .. would like your commnets on my art work ... let me kno if my hands speak wht ur words do